Verbicidal Maniac II

Resurrection?

2009-12-15T03:18:00.002-06:00

Some days there are heads. Some heads have protruding spines. Sometimes you wish you hadn't looked.

Message to the NBA

2009-02-15T08:08:00.002-06:00

Your product sucks.

No amount of muzak, lighting, celebrities or hype will help. You can fawn over the players and their antics, but that doesn't make it any more exciting than it actually is.

Boo-yah!

Blago makes it to Letterman

2009-02-05T07:42:00.002-06:00

There isn't much I can say about this. Keep the faith, Rod.

Watch it here

I wasn't interested anyway

2009-01-24T16:13:00.002-06:00

The other half of the world will get to see a partial solar eclipse. So what, I get to freeze my ass off and knock over chairs in the street that were saving public parking spaces for private use.

Read more about the eclipse here and here.

Blago Follows Drew's Lead

2009-01-24T16:02:00.002-06:00

As snow swirls to the bottom of the globe......these are the days of our lives.

Blago's defense attorney bid him a fond farewell because the Guv just couldn't keep his f'n yap shut. The good man scheduled appearances on local radio station WLS, The View, Good Morning, America and Larry King. He also compared his family's situation to Pearl Harbor. The Guv's plea to the Chicago Sun Times editorial board to help him ensure fair treatment wasn't well received either. You're getting yours, Blago, and you're getting it fair and square.

In the wake of that speed bump, Blago has hired the same PR firm that Drew Peterson uses.

The impeachment trial begins Monday.

Random Unposted Pics

2009-01-11T08:15:00.004-06:00

Rutabaga, Apple and Brown Sugar

Blonde brownie with chocolate chips, butterscotch chips and hazelnuts.

Scallops seared with wasabi powder over turnip greens

Lake Michigan gull

Montrose before it got shitty and snowy outside

Looking toward the Loop

Impeachy Keen!

2009-01-11T07:41:00.003-06:00

Blago runs, Blago spouts literature, Blago makes senate appointments!

He also got impeached.

Isn't this fun? I'm glad, with such expansive media coverage, that the whole country can enjoy Blago these days.

Did the man really quote the Sillitoe short story "The Lonliness of the Long Distance Runner"? He sure did.

Why wouldn't he identify with the character of a Boy who, following the death of his father, goes on a spending spree with insurance and benefits cash, ending in an arrest for robbery. The story of a youngster rebelling against an authority represented by a moronic police officer, a stereotypical politician, and the authoritarian head of the reform school the boy's arrest lands him in.

Authority wants to use the Boy for his one talent, running. The boy will buck Authority at all opportunity, including losing the big race (stopping short of the finish line if need be) in the face of the temptations of wealth and status promised by Authority. Added to the background of the story is the Boy's misguided reverence for the image of his Father as Saint/Knight/Holy Man.

The grand conclusion of the story has the Boy being punished with six months of labor that enables him to avoid National Service and, rather than reforming him, makes the Boy a better burglar.

Can y'all figure out which character is which?

Shower Time

2009-01-05T07:39:00.002-06:00

In case you missed the first show of the year, here's a list of 2009 meteor showers from the AMS.

The Quadrantids peaked on January 3rd and if you are in the western US or Canada, weather permitting, you had good viewing opportunities.

The rest of us can settle for this picture from a Tokyo company that captured a Quadrantid meteor blazing across the sky as an aurora provides a brilliant green background. The photo is from a camera located on the outskirts of Fairbanks, Alaska.

2009 has been declared the International Year of Astronomy after all, celebrating the 400th year of the work of Galileo. There will be a special exhibit at The Franklin in Philadelphia, which will include 2 of Galileo's telescopes, instruments and artifacts from the Medici family. Keep up with IYOA2009 happenings at the IYOA site or specifically at the IYOA US node.

I want this

2009-01-04T22:18:00.000-06:00

http://www.odemagazine.com/doc/60/a-greenwash-you-can-believe-in/

It's a new fangled wash tub.

Congrats to the Happy Couple

2008-12-18T11:22:00.003-06:00

Everyone's favorite ex-cop is engaged!

Drew Peterson, who is still technically married to his missing fourth wife Stacy, is now engaged to a 23-year-old woman.

Feel good stories are hard to come by and I'm so glad that this young lady could look beyond Drew being under scrutiny in the death of his third wife and the fact that his current wife is still missing. Instead, the newly-engaged lass has looked deeper....to the father and funny man with the swarthy good looks of a Chicago-style Sasquatch.

I wish them joy and happiness and hope the fifth suffers a better fate than the third and fourth.

Bah Bah Blago

2008-12-15T15:49:00.002-06:00

The gov'na is in trouble. There is no surprise here. The guy is a piece of work and I think everyone knew that already.

How far reaching this latest politico-bullshit will be is the real question.

Is it too late to just scrap the whole lot of 'em and put D. Rose on a throne? The kid can do it all and he's local and has the kind of mass appeal we like to see. He certainly couldn't do any worse than the string of buffoons the state of Illinois has provided in the modern era.

Fry, part the first

2008-11-16T19:33:00.004-06:00

Dig this. I decided I was going to fry the hell out of stuff for a few days. I started with the obvious.

Chicken. Chicken thighs to be exakt. I like thighs.

I cut the chicken parts into pieces parts, cutting against the grain (some people don't think this is necessary, I think they should fuck off). Tossed the parts up with some salt, then marinated in a mix of miso paste and sake.

The vegetable oil was heated to about 340 degrees. When the parts were done swimming in marinade for a bit, they got dipped in soy sauce and dusted with corn starch (you could use potato starch, which will get a more typically Asian fry, but I didn't do that because I didn't). Then the frying commenced. Three to five minutes per part.

The accompanying zucchini rings are just zucchini cored and sliced into rings and fried for the briefest time. Just to get them tender.

The results were really tender and had damn good taste. I didn't even bother with sauce, though I wouldn't stop you if you went that route.

The Moon and Jupiter

2008-11-03T19:31:00.002-06:00

Go look. Jupiter will be bright as hell and right next to the moon. By the end of the month, Venus will be in conjunction and you'll see all three snuggled up.

That really bright object near the moon tonight is Jupiter. Venus, which is even brighter as seen from Earth than Jupiter, will be climbing up toward Jupiter all month, reaching conjunction on 11/30 or 12/1 depending on where you are. Right now, Venus is near the horizon but will be close to Jupiter toward the end of the month.

Hopefully you were looking up for some earthshine on Halloween as well.

This is nice consolation for a bright moon during the mid-November Leonids this year.

Halloween-time!

2008-10-31T19:33:00.004-05:00

On tap for the rugrats that are brave enough to ring my doorbell: Reese's Peanut Butter Cups, Kit Kat, Hersey's plain, Butterfinger Crisps, Gummy Bears, Spree, Sweetarts, Sweetart Chews.

There is an awesome combo bag of Spree, Sweetart, Sweetart Chews and Bit-O-Honey. I removed all of the Bit-O-Honey. I don't want any chilluns gettin' hurt on the Bit-O-Honey, ya know?

Here's a few family shots:

Some Kind of Soup

2008-10-31T19:20:00.005-05:00

Recipe from NY Times via Slashfood

NY Times link.

They call it a Provençal Potato “Bouillabaisse”, or a “poor man’s bouillabaisse.” Given that one of the ingredients is "a generous pinch of saffron threads," I'm not sure that it's a poor man's anything. Unless, of course, this is the political version of a poor man which means you probably make a paltry $121,000 a year or some shite. Poor bastard.

Anywho, it still rocks the pots with piles of onion, leek, potato, tomato and such. Really doesn't take much effort, but looks good and tastes good. If you go so far as to do the poached egg finish, you will impress some ham-handed kitchen noob and anyone that really likes eggs.

I'm happy to say that it might even be better on heating the next day (though, obviously, not the poached egg bit, which is best freshly poached). Served with some really good bread from the local fella down the street.

Roxanne

2008-10-27T12:44:00.002-05:00

Greatest thing on the Interzone today. A walk through of the 1984 Roxanne battles. Throw on your adidas track suit, polish your chains, crank up the boom box and follow along here.

If you have no clue what I'm on about, shame on you. It's never too late to learn.

Polls say what?

2008-10-23T15:43:00.004-05:00

The Chicago Tribune did a poll to find out what the IL Governor's approval rating was. They came up with an approval rating of 13%. The poll also determined that 8% of respondents think Blago lived up to his promise to end corruption. There were 500 participants in the survey. Without getting deep into stats and polling issues, we are left to consider that roughly 65 people of those 500 taking the survey approve of Blagojevich. Ten percent of participants want him reelected.

Who the fuck are you people?

This isn't even a partisan issue. Pay attention.

Maybe we can just assume those people are getting something out of it. Wink, wink.

Diwali - Find a place to do it

2008-10-23T14:13:00.003-05:00

Festival of Light and all that jazz. No better reason to go experience something.

Suggestions for Chicagoans here and here.

I'm pretty sure something will be happening near Devon Ave. Just park a few blocks away and walk or cab over there.

I like this fellow's description of his Devon Ave experience. Read it all, it reeks of Devon. Here's an excerpt:

I knew we were on Devon Avenue even before I had had a chance to read the
road sign. I knew when I saw the festive store signs, in everything from Arabic
to Gujrati lettering, advertising everything from halal meat to electronics to
luggage to fish. I knew when I saw the colorful stores with hot pink sarees,
neon yellow salwaars and bright purple skirts. I knew when I saw the familiar
throng of people in pyjamas and prayer hats strolling down the street. I knew
when I saw the paan shop and little groups of people idling around outside the
store on a weekday. I knew right then I was in Mera Hindustan. Ahem. That is,
Little India. Or Litte Pakistan. Or Little Bangladesh.

On a side note, I'm pretty sure this add doesn't say what it meant to.

Scotch Tape = X Rays

2008-10-23T13:47:00.003-05:00

It's true. I read it on the Internet. Go Look.

OK, so people already determined this (Russians are still people right?), but now it's like totally more known than before.

All you need is some tape and a vacuum. Not a hoover, but a space where the pressure is less than standard atmospheric pressure. Then you can make electrons jump and get caught in sticky stuff. Voila. X-rays.

Pure as the Yellow Snow

2008-10-15T10:13:00.002-05:00

Somebody did a study of bottled water. That somebody is called the Environmental Working Group. I don't know anything about them.

They came up with the stunning results that bottled water isn't really much more pure than tap water. I'm shocked. Simply shocked. Shocked.

This is the best part of the story (as reported by Yahoo):

An industry group branded the findings "alarmist." Joe Doss, president of
the International Bottled Water Association, said the study is based on the
faulty premise that a contaminant is a health concern "even if it does not
exceed the established regulatory limit or no standard has been set."

When the bottled water jerks are selling you your own municipal water, just remember that "pure" means no health concerns. Any belief otherwise is your issue. You didn't really think water was clean did you? Come on. We're just talking about a little chemical leaching, some caffeine and some manure. That will be $3.50, please.

Monetizing Your Consumption

2008-10-14T13:38:00.003-05:00

BBC reports on the The Economics of Ecosystems and Biodiversity.

The TEEB report tries to put a value on "ecosystem services" that are provided by nature (for free, if you will) and will have to be replaced as those services are lost. Things such as air and water purification, fisheries, timber, etc. As biodiversity declines and ecosystems are depleted, we have to spend to produce the same services previously provided by nature. Costs could be from reforestation, farming foods once naturally available, or building reservoirs.

The BBC article quotes study leader Pavan Sukhdev as saying "the reality is that at today's rate we are losing natural capital at least between $2-$5 trillion every year." The first phase of the study was completed in May and determined that forest decline could be costing somewhere in the area of 7% of global GDP.

The thinking is that by couching the problem in terms of financial cost, the issues move from an argument about the inherent value of "nature" and towards a practical view of what the real cost is. The financial strains will impact everyone, whether you find fluffy bunnies and towering redwood trees special or not.

See PDF of the interim report here.

Just More Hot Air?

2008-10-08T15:29:00.002-05:00

Wind Power.

It comes up every so often in the Great Lakes states. There is a little item in the Chicago Tribune (Section 1, Page 33 - I can't find a corresponding online article) about the pros and cons of wind farms in Lake Michigan. Offshore wind farms are not uncommon in Europe, but have not been put to use much in my backyard.

Wind speeds of above 14.3 mph when measured at approximately 500 feet above the surface (the Trib article sourced info from Michigan State University and the American Wind Energy Association) are able to generate electricity. This would certainly be the case out on Lake Michigan.

Nevertheless, no matter how often someone completes a cost analysis, a study or makes a passionate plea for wind power, it doesn't seem to get anywhere.

I want someone to design a combo satellite dish/wind turbine unit for individual houses. Don't look at me like that. The dishes are ubiquitous already. How much worse could it look. A penny saved is a penny earned.

Last year during the GreenBuild convention, there was talk of making Chicago skyscrapers more energy efficient. Sears Tower topped by wind turbines? Crazy you say? Chicago architect Adrian Smith is thinking just that as described in a recent Building article.

It also seems that Radial Wind is looking to do something with the Great Lakes. Check them out.

A Rat in the Kitchen?

2008-10-06T15:38:00.003-05:00

Another great idea by a Chicago politician. As they say, it's easier to ask for forgiveness...

Republican Tony Peraica has used an image of "Top Chef" winner and everyone's favorite TV chef, Stephanie Izard on a logo for a local access show called "What's COOKin' with the Republicans!"

Who cares what the show is for. The important thing is that Izard, a registered Democrat, did not authorize the use of her image. Tony, in a response that is certainly typical, claims he had no idea who the image was of, who Izard is or what the show "Top Chef" is. This is possible, though unlikely, given the amount of local exposure Izard got during the filming of her season of "Top Chef" in Chicago, her subsequent win, and her well-known restaurant in Bucktown prior to ever showing up on "Top Chef".

The show's producer, Dan Schmidt, designed the logo and even though he watched the Chicago season of "Top Chef", claims he didn't recognize Izard's image. This is a month or so after Peraica's boys used an image of well-known prosecutor Patrick Fitzgerald in a campaign flier, which Fitzgerald subsequently requested not be used as it appeared like he was giving an endorsement.

Chicagoist has a side-by-side of the logo and a "Top Chef" promo photo.

Way to go!

A Little Slice of Bullshit

2008-10-06T10:17:00.003-05:00

It's good to see the new glamour sport, MMA, is going the route of boxing. Boxing, of course, is a mega-money business that ruined itself with promoters and organizers colluding to ensure certain marketable names got big fights. We never knew who the grand bad-ass was, as the best fighters never met unless there was a big prize. The potentials never got tested lest an unknown, hand-picked bum put their golden boy on his ass. And so, the glorious days of boxing came to an end and fans watched dejectedly as "judges" handed obvious losses to the supposed contenders on their way to meeting in prime time, pay-per-view matches made in heaven (or in the minds of seedy promoters and greedy television execs).

MMA was the savior of brutal sport fans everywhere. The days of watching tapes of people like Ken Shamrock were over as the variations on ultimate fighting exploded across the television landscape. Fans were overjoyed. This was the real deal.

Enter Kimbo Slice....and right back out again. Fourteen seconds of glorious action. Kimbo, the baddest man alive, felled by a journeyman 30 pounds lighter and 2 inches shorter. By a man, Seth Petruzelli, that was such a nonentity in the sport, he was scheduled to be on the non-televised undercard until 44-year old Ken Shamrock (who hadn't won himself in four years) was scratched after cutting his eye in training Saturday.

Made for TV, but maybe not for MMA. Just don't suggest that to Kimbo or his crew, who got paid an undisclosed bonus for accepting the new "challenge" so late in the game. You can't blame them for taking the money.

Only in America!

These Cats Were Not LOLing

2008-09-26T13:05:00.003-05:00

I'm sure you've heard of the six-toed cats at Hemingway's joint in Key West. Maybe you've had a chance to see them up close. It's the Keys, you could find a worse place to hang your hat for a few days.

Anyway, the five-year battle to let the cats continue their roaming has finally ended.

The US Dept of Agriculture had threatened to fine the Ernest Hemingway Home and Museum $200 per cat, per day. That's a lot of scratch. The USDA finally relented on advice from an animal behaviorist, but not until after the Museum spent about $250,000 on lawyers and a special fence for the property.

I'm super glad that the cats didn't take over Key West and start their own republic. Now if only the USDA would like to take an interest in the 1000s of feral cats roaming the alleys of Chicago. Perhaps the normal five-toed variety aren't threatening enough.

Palin Syrah

2008-09-26T12:24:00.003-05:00

Drinking it is not a political statement. Please get your heads out of your asses.

You could even pronounce it correctly and avoid all confusion.

It's allegedly named after a hockey puck. Who even knew there was a name for a Chilean hockey puck?

His Handicap is Mental

2008-09-26T10:34:00.004-05:00

A Cook County sheriff's officer was caught parking in a handicapped zone by a high school student with a phone cam. Allegedly, the officer was responding to a call at Shepard High School, though not an emergency call. The student claims there were open spaces just yards away.

This is fairly typical activity, but with the abundance of shutter bugs and cam phones, this kind of activity is hard to ignore. If the student had filed a complaint and there was no picture, nothing further would have happened. The Office of Professional Review has opened an investigation, but that will likely result in no disciplinary action.

There is always a debate from the officers and their supports that on duty personnel don't follow the laws as they may have to hasten away for an emergency. I can almost get behind that. The problem is the behavior is rampant and (as in this case) flagrant and unnecessary. It is also annoying to citizens who get hassled by these same officers. Not just ticketed for violations, but verbally harassed.

There are good officers, no doubt. However, anyone with a pair of working eyes has been witness to the liberties being taken. I don't need to hear about all the wonderful officers. I know they are out there doing what they can. It only takes a few rats to sink the ship and if you don't think the rats are there, you are ignoring the evidence.

These are the little things, but also evidence of an overarching systemic problem. Nothing about this adds to my sense of security.

Elephants On Parade: Death Edition

2008-09-24T14:55:00.003-05:00

An escaped circus elephant was struck and killed by a bus driver (technically by the bus, which the driver was driving) north of Mexico City. The bus driver did not survive the incident and four other passengers were injured.

OK, that's not super unusual. Granted, it's not an everyday occurrence, but we've all seen rampaging elephant footage over the years.

The real head scratching comes when it is reported that the elephant's body has disappeared. Cover up of animal abuse? Aliens changing their M.O. from the usual cow grabbing? Government conspiracy? Zombie Elephant? Yes, I think that sounds right. Zombie Elephant. Watch the fuck out over there, chilango.

Sorting out Chicago's Backrooming - Cloutwiki!

2008-09-23T13:46:00.001-05:00

Cloutwiki

This site is designed to provide basic information
on the political history and background of Chicago's political leaders. The
information gathered here is all publicly available, we have only compiled it in
one place. We've made a special effort to demonstrate the relationships and
connections between leaders.

Much of the work herein is a
extension of David K. Fremon's Chicago Politics: Ward by Ward, an unparalleled
snapshot of 1980's Chicago politics.

55-0!

2008-09-23T13:34:00.002-05:00

The IL Governor's changes to the ethics bill got slapped down by the Senate. Why in the world this roll call had to require a call from Obama to put it in motion is beyond me. Far be it from me to question these world class politicians. Of course, this quick response had more to do with giving Obama something positive to point to in Chicago politics than it did with anything else.

There are still loopholes for determined fundraisers. Money can go to political groups, which can then funnel it back to state officials and there are no restrictions on donations to lawmakers, who are influential in the contract process. The bill focused on donations to state officials that dole out the contracts (Gov, Lt Gov, AG, Sec of State, Treasurer, Comptroller).

A Senate committee immediately advanced a bill that would address the Governor's proposals, but did not Blago's late additions prevent this tiny first step from going forward.

EPA looks at perchlorate

2008-09-23T13:17:00.003-05:00

No surprises here. Perchlorate mucks up the thyroid. It is used to make lots of things, including rocket fuel, road flares, explosives and batteries. The EPA has decided that mandating a clean level of perchlorate would result in meaningful health risk reduction for people using public water. The Pentagon doesn't think their testing of various rocket type things was as big an impact in the contamination as is thought. The Pentagon is also relieved that they won't have to pay for anything relating to cleanup, but they also assure us that they did not influence the EPA in any way.

Same old story here. Don't worry, you can always buy your public water from Pepsico or some other bottler who will take it from your public supply and clean it for you. At least, clean enough that they still have a healthy profit margin. At least something will be healthy.

More importantly, the EPA's assistant administrator for water is named Ben Grumbles. Grumbles is on the case, so if your babies don't develop properly, you know it isn't from perchlorate in the water. You probably shouldn't have had that last hit of crack, but I don't blame you. Any comfort in a storm on that grim day when they repo'd your car and you couldn't pay your mortgage.

Remember to vote this coming November! Or earlier if you can. Some campaigners are annoyed that you can vote early. It's possible that their carefully planned barrage of politico-bullshit won't be able to snow you as bad if you go early. The man on the radio this morning worried that if you vote now, you might think the economy and the mortgage crisis is the main issue. I know you better than that, so grab a bottle of water and get to the booth!

View from the Top

2008-09-22T13:59:00.002-05:00

Sometimes there are nice things to say. Here is a nice article about green roofs, something that Chicago has had its eye on for a while. Mayor Daley instituted a grant program for green roofs in 2001, at the same time turning the City Hall roof green.

Chicago tops the surveyed group (estimated to be approximately 60% of all green roof industry activity) in square feet planted in 2007 at 517,633.

The city is nice enough to offer this guide to rooftop gardening.

Barry Plays the Heavy

2008-09-22T13:47:00.004-05:00

While I was busy basking in the Cub glow, Obama rung up his old pal Emil Jones Jr. and gave him the secret code. The result was that Jones will now be recalling the Senate this week to deal with the ethics bill (see some other post I made...I'm too lazy to link it right now HALLELUJAH, HERE IT IS).

Blago also announced on Thursday that he would call the General Assembly into special session today to deal with ethics reform. He, of course, wants his changes to the ethics bill to be considered. Fat chance, I think.

Jones was at a Senate Democratic fund raiser on Wednesday night and declined to discuss the matter of Obama's phone call. He was conveniently busy fundraising and didn't feel like talking about ethics.

The one lingering question I have is whether the gang will make a definitive statement about the 15-day period that Jones and cronies had to vote on the bill until the bill died (whether that be 15-days from delivery, or 15-days from the first Senate meeting following, or what defines delivery, etc). They will probably let the ambiguity linger until it comes up again and they need to delay some other bill seeking to reign in politicians greed. Perhaps that one won't result in a call from someone running for President and the shenanigans can go on unabated.

Think, Plan, Do

2008-09-18T13:14:00.004-05:00

This isn't the way it works for government. They just take.

Chicago would like to host the Olympics in 2016. They think Chicago2016 is a good web address. Chicago2016.org is super duper and they love it.

The problem city officials see is that some joker already controls Chicago2016.com and they don't like that. The joker in question, an NU grad student (Go Cats!), has some designs of his own. He claims to want to foster debate about the Olympic bid (though he also registered Tokyo2016...and a total of 40 combinations of city names and years). Officials are seeking to gain control of Chicago2016.com through an arbitration organization. The student has gone to US District Court in Chicago to stop the arbitration proceedings and protect his claim.

A spokesperson for Chicago 2016, a trademarked name, claims that "the domain name is rightfully" theirs and is the "natural domain" for their site. I think, if that was so, those officials should have done something about it a long time ago. Either way, this should be interesting. Classic little pink house standing in the way of the freeway.

You Can Have Wings, But Not While Drinking

2008-09-18T12:49:00.002-05:00

Attorneys General in 25 states want the beer companies to stop producing those alcohol-energy drinks.

Like most profit driven organizations, the top US beer makers have been searching for something to boost sales. Recent growth trends for their core market have not been good. Now you see the clamato bud, the lime flavored beers, and the low carb beers. The big producers are also dipping into craft brews and flavored malt beverages.

Of course, all the concerned parties are fretting over the youngsters and the abusive drinkers. Dear me, please think of the chilluns! They note that caffeine laced alcohol tends to result in massive benders and drunk kiddies. These attorneys general also claim that the marketing is targeted toward younger drinkers. Anheuser-Busch decided to cut the extra boost out of its products. I'm not really sure there is a reason to sell it anymore, but hey, they can figure that out for themselves. MillerCoors doesn't appear to be willing to give up the goat. I don't think they should. I happen to like those drinks. I also like the ads because like most men, I'm a juvenile at heart. The advertising is targeted to me and my low-brow, beer swilling cohorts.

There are no real studies on these products and the attorneys general, as usual, are swinging wildly and hoping to land something that will be seen as a glorious step forward for society. I don't know that they realize that the drinking age is 21 and the mechanism is in place already to prevent the kids from overindulging. I also don't think they realize that the kids can still buy the components separately and if they want a beer and red bull mix or a vodka and red bull, they are damn well gonna have one. Not to mention that MillerCoors' entrant in the market, Sparks, makes up 1% of their production last year. One percent.

Here's a tip. Alcohol is not evil. Being drunk is not evil. Being drunk at 18 is not the first horrid step toward a life in the gutter blowing degenerates for enough money to buy some crank. Suing MillerCoors, if they choose to produce a legal product, is not a good way to spend the peoples' money and is a waste of court time.

Yes, there are negatives in life. Some people have addiction problems. Some people abuse their liver until it doesn't function correctly. Some people drive into things and kill people while intoxicated. The populace is an abusive lot and they tend to make shitty decisions. We will never be able to legislate them into doe-eyed compliance and state enforced happiness. At least not in the world I want to live in.

These AGs and their backers can take their self-righteous bullshit and shove it. Put your efforts into something more constructive. The jails are stacked and I doubt we would have saved any of them had they just not been exposed to Sparks early in life.

A Swim in the Park

2008-09-15T21:53:00.004-05:00

I don't think my gear is ever going to dry.

Yikes!

2008-09-15T12:37:00.004-05:00

Nothing to see here. Like you've never posted something to one of your blogs that you meant to post to your Britney Rulez! blog. I can't believe people are such haters :( I hope you're all happy now.

Can I Get an FU!

2008-09-12T10:50:00.004-05:00

I'm a busy bee. Hardly have time to get rip roaring drunk like I should. Nevertheless, I couldn't let some local political shenanigans go by without comment.

Oddly enough, someone thought there should be some ethics legislation. Who'd a thunk it?

The ethics bill (good old House Bill 824) would ban people and business that have a minimum of $50,000 of contracts with the state from making campaign contributions to state officials that decide who gets state contracts. The Guv'na made some changes to the bill, extending the ban to lawmakers and party leaders, prohibiting lawmakers from holding other government jobs while in the General Assembly (double-dipping) and, best of all, changing the voting for pay raises such that a "yes" vote supports a pay raise (where currently a "no" vote supports a pay raise). The Guv'na sat on this for a bit while he generated some contributions but when it finally got in front of the Illinois House, the revised bill was voted down 110-3.

Now comes our pal, Emil Jones Jr. The Illinois Senate needs to shoot down the Guv'na's new version of the bill now, or the whole thing dies. Jones is our venerable Illinois Senate President and will preside over things with his usual majesty.

The Senate has 15 days to vote. Jones will not be reconvening the Senate until November 12. The Jones camp thinks they have 15 days from the next Senate meeting. [more on this below] There is also the matter of construction financing and budget issues that aren't going to be discussed until the fat cats get themselves back in session.

I won't debate whether Blago's ideas were bad, they seem to have some merit (though more in a you backstab me, I'll backstab you sorta way), but the end result is decent. He did overload the bill, making his version unlikely to get votes (and stalling the process yet again). Some Reps are correct in their clamoring that they are the legislators and the Governor isn't (everyone wants their say).

Yet....I'm pissed at these knob polishers as usual. I'm pissed that this will end up in the shitter eventually. These guys would fuck up a free beer because they were too busy hustling bj's in the bathroom for 2 beers a go. Greedy, selfish and shameless.

The Veto Procedure:

You can read it all in the Constitution of the State of IL in Section 9 "Veto Procedure".

(c) The house to which a bill is returned shall immediately enter the Governor's objections upon its journal.If within 15 calendar days after such entry that house by a record vote of three-fifths of the members elected passes the bill, it shall be delivered immediately to the second house.If within 15 calendar days after such delivery the second house by a record vote of three-fifths of the members elected passes the bill, it shall become law.

If you read this like I do, Jones and Company are missing the window (as the House has delivered the bill). However, there are more than a few that agree with the Senate's interpretation that the bill isn't officially delivered until it is read into record. There is a nice recap of the issue here. Either way, this is just further mucking up the works and ensuring that business as usual continues. Congratulations, assholes.

Rapid Fire Political News

2008-08-25T15:05:00.003-05:00

When people pay attention, the shit flies.

I don't even feel like getting in all up in a tizzy about this stuff today, so I'll just drop some quick hitters.

Cook County workers have the option to check a box and select a charity from a list to donate a portion of their paycheck to. However, it seems that the County actually takes a 3% skim off that donation and hides it away in its own charitable fund, the Cook County Charity Fund. I'm not really going to lay this at Stroger's feet even though he sent out the letter encouraging workers to participate. The 3% skim is noted in the fine print of the payroll deduction form and has been in existence since 1989. It's just another example of business as usual. The Man will assure you that nothing untoward has happened and no attempts have been made to obfuscate; however, when you are doing the same thing as the unscrupulous car salesmen and mass marketing scam artists, you have to consider that you aren't much better.

Believe it or not, Emil Jones also gets a mention today. Yes, the man also called Obama's political mentor. He was accused of calling Delmarie Cobb, a black woman and a Clinton delegate, an "Uncle Tom" on Sunday. There were witnesses, but defenders claim the comment was in jest and misconstrued. Same old, same old. I'm sure Obama is happy about this turn of events.

In more Obama news, running mate Joe Biden's links to Tony Rezko are getting more attention. Biden has a relationship with attorney Joseph Cari Jr., who served as Midwest field director for Biden's failed 1988 presidential election bid and also was a confidant of Biden while Biden contemplated a 2008 run. Cari is a long-time friend of Biden and, among other things, was the DNC National Finance Chairman (1993-94) and the Finance Chair of the US Senate Democratic Campaign Committee in 1995. Cari also admitted to being part of an $850,000 kickback scam that is allegedly part of a larger fund raising operation for Gov'na Blago and overseen by Rezko.

Happy Monday! Rejoice in the wonders of humanity.

And So It Goes

2008-08-22T11:30:00.002-05:00

Emil Jones III gets the nod from The Gang to take his father's spot on the Nov. 4 ballot.

The Trib quoted Emil Jones Jr as saying, "He's well qualified for the position. As the constitution says, 21 years old, resident, must reside in the district. All the other things are extra, and he has all the tools necessary. He knows the process."

He also added that his son has been schooled in IL politics since he was a child and showed a picture of Jones III attending a Senate committee hearing as a boy.

None of this is comforting. All the other things are extra? Is this really how we want to think about governing?

He's breathing and he fits the minimum qualifications. But wait, there's more! His father is a standout "Chicago" politician. That's right folks, he knows how to "play the game". Young Emil has learned at the seat of The Man.

You can go fuck yourselves. It seems your fucking of the citizens is done for the day.

Who's da Mastah

2008-08-21T16:16:00.007-05:00

Actor Julius Carry died on Tuesday.

The man was all over TV. Carry made appearances in everthing from Hill Street Blues and Benson to The Hughleys and The Unit (see the full list at IMDB). He was also a principal on a short lived show called "Doctor Doctor" from 1989-91.

Carry was the greatest kung-fu thug ever - Sho'nuff, The Shogun of Harlem.

Busta Rhymes even tossed him a little tribute in this video for "Dangerous".

And remember kids....direct-a yo feets-a to Daddy Green's Pizza.

More of the same in IL Politics

2008-08-20T16:12:00.004-05:00

Senate President Emil Jones is retiring at the end of his term in early January. Ho hum. I should be happy that an ally of the great gov'na Blago is stepping aside. Perhaps he knows something.

Jones officially announced his retirement on Monday.

Jones wants his son, Emil Jones III, to replace him.

Sound familiar?

It is up to the Democratic committeemen to decide who replaces Jones on the November 4th ballot as the Democratic candidate. Let's face it, that spot for the 14 District Chicago seat is owned by the Democrats unless something dire happens, so this amounts to a royal appointment.

Jones would have great impact as to how that selection gets made even without a vote.

The primary is long gone and the timing of this move leaves other potential candidates in the lurch. Perhaps a stronger Republican would have tossed his or her hat in the ring if Jones was never going to be on the ballot. Perhaps a Democrat would have chosen to run in the primary. Perhaps the winner of the primary would actually be representing the Democratic voters in the Nov. 4 election.

Jones has a history. Don't we all. Let's review....

Emil Jones III was granted an administrator-level state gig as a regional manager at the Department of Commerce and Economic Opportunity with an annual pull of almost $60,000. He has no college degree. That's making the most of opportunity.

Jones advocated a 7.5% pay raise for himself and his senate pals. This comes after the July 1 cost-of-living increase of 3.8% they were granted. Said Jones, "I need a pay raise. I need a pay raise." Two years ago Jones didn't allow a vote to reject pay raises until after the election, at which time Jones and Co. defeated a move to reject pay raises. I guess he'll have to settle for his state pension.

Jones will be eligible for over $500,000 of the $1.6 million of his campaign funds to be converted to personal use, if taxes are paid, according to a state law enacted in 1998.

Jones blocked mandatory disclosure of subcontracts while his stepson's firm was the beneficiary of
state contracts.

Jones supported ComEd rate hikes last year while other politicians took contributions from utilities during the negotiations.

Jones' office received a federal subpoena in 2003 alleging that his state staff performed campaign work on state time.

This is how it's done people. Don't turn your back on them and check your pockets when you walk away. I won't claim the man never did a lick of good, but let's keep our eye on the till here.

The State of Illinois is facing serious financial turmoil and a rat's nest of inefficiency. These fuckers are the problem, not the solution.

What a Joke

2008-08-17T16:28:00.001-05:00

Olympic Boxing.

Javelin

2008-08-14T10:27:00.003-05:00

It's some kind of track and field event. I'm not sure of the particulars. What is important to know is that Leryn Franco competes in that event. Keep alert for this momentous competition.

Fatburger is Coming

2008-08-13T09:42:00.002-05:00

Crain's Chicago informs us that Kanye is bringing Chicago's first Fatburger restaurant to Orland Park and his company has rights to open 10 Fatburgers in Chicago.

The name says it all, not that it's much worse than some other joints. I suppose we should be grateful for their candor.

Let's take a look:

Fatburger: 520 calories, 270 fat calories, 29 g of fat (11 g saturated), 90 mg cholesterol, 880 mg sodium, 32 g carbs, 7 g fiber, 3 g sugar, 30 g protein

Fat Fries: 550 calories, 240 fat calories, 26 g fat (4.5 g saturated), 0 mg cholesterol (thanks for the cholesterol free oil), 75 mg sodium, 72 g carbs, 8 g fiber, 0 g sugar, 8 g protein

They do offer Skinny Fries, which have 60 less calories, but 840 mg of sodium. I can only assume the 75 mg for the Fat Fries is a misprint.

Fatburger uses "100% pure lean beef", so that's something, and they make to order (no heat lamps, thank you).

Lest you want to go the turkey or veggie route:

Turkeyburger: 550 calories, 280 fat calories, 31 g fat (8 g saturated), 130 mg cholesterol, 900 mg sodium, 38 g carbs, 5 g fiber, 2 g sugar, 30 g protein

Veggieburger: 430 calories, 110 fat calories, 12 g fat (3.5 g saturated), 15 mg cholesterol, 1180 mg sodium, 45 g carbs, 12 g fiber, 8 g sugar, 35 g protein

This doesn't even count bacon or cheese and it isn't clear what is assumed for other toppings and condiments. The Grilled Chicken competes with the Veggieburger on fat calories. The trade off is high sodium and fiber ( for the veggie) vs higher cholesterol and less sodium (for the chicken). The chicken packs "only" 740 mg of sodium for its 360 calories. The hot dog only has 380 calories, but sneaks in 200 fat calories and 990 mg of sodium.

The Kingburger and Sausage and Egg Sandwich are hardly worth discussing. If you choose those options, you don't really want to know what the stats are. The Fat Salad Wedge is just a lettuce wedge with diced bacon, tomatoes and dressing and comes in at 70 calories. I'm betting nobody is eating that. Maybe with a side of chili or some onion rings.

According to the menu, Great Addons include bacon, egg, chili and cheese. I'm wondering if I can get bacon, egg and cheese on the Kingburger with the 1/2 pound of beef. Chili would just make it hard to eat.

I bet the shakes are good, but ranging from 700-880 calories each, I'm not sure where I would put that. Maybe my ass. I've been sitting alot at work and I could use some extra cushion.

Happy munching Orland Parkers.

Diamonds on the Soles of My Shoes?

2008-08-10T20:35:00.005-05:00

Nope. Not at all.

Hey, I get it. Life's a hassle. Pets are a pain. Poop is poopy. Walking is tiresome.

Fortunately, putting pictures on the web isn't very difficult.

Welcome to the interzone, my scofflaw pal!

Let's review the evidence:

Look, a pooch. He seems to be fertilizing the park. Very curious.

I wonder what this happy-go-lucky person is doing.

Oho! It's a happy reunion.

Come on pooch, let's roll out. Our doody is done here.

Let's have a quick review of the local signage. It certainly seems clear. You know, just in case you were unaware of societal conventions.

Cheers to you. You managed to have your dog off-leash, leave feces in the park where we like to cavort, and you parked in a no parking zone because, in order to do all this wonderful stuff, you actually drove your pudgy little dog to the freakin' park. Can't blame you. Wouldn't want dog shit in my yard either.

No friend of ours

2008-08-08T16:26:00.003-05:00

It's too freakin' hot.

Off to work in the morning these days I feel like a shylock on the way to see what's taking that guy so long. I'm hot, don't have the tie on yet, shirt open at the chest, cuffs undone, suit jacket over the shoulder....angry.

The lengths I go to avoid breaking a sweat. It'll spoil me for the day.

Stroger Watch

2008-07-31T14:12:00.003-05:00

I know that Chicago politics is ugly, but this guy is a caricature. Stroger doesn't think he gets a fair deal from the media. He thinks his political opponents (Commissioners Forrest Claypool and Tony Peraica) don't understand county government. I'm pretty sure they don't. At least not the way Todd does government.

Chicago already has the highest sales tax rate in the nation because Todd's expertise couldn't figure out how to reduce expense while simultaneously adding loads of new employees and still act like the traditional fat cat. All the while his friends and relations muddle through the days playing governemnt under his "tutelage".

Now a Trib report (of a Sun Times report, no less) tells us of the ill-fated Cook County magazine. A magazine that cost $24,999 because $25,000 requires approval from the county board. A magazine that was so poorly produced that it is "riddled with misspellings and other errors". A Frankenstein monster of a magazine that is so hideous and humiliating to it's creators that the 5,000 copies are stuffed away in the halls of government, never to be distributed.

I don't think this is what Todd had in mind when the magazine was commissioned to create a "non-threatening news environment that ensures regular, positive press -- to counter-balance negative press often found in the mainstream media."

We love you, Todd. Just not in that way. Stop fucking up my world with your bullshit.

But It's On TV

2008-07-28T14:39:00.003-05:00

The August 1 solar eclipse will not be visible in my sky. It will be visible in parts of Northern Canada, Greenland, the Arctic, Central Russian, Mongolia and China (where favorable weather will likely provide for the best viewing).

Never fear. NASA TV is going to stream a live webcast from 6am-8:15am EDT. The totality (the period of total eclipse) will occur from 7:08-7:10am EDT. The NASA webcast will continue until 11am as part of the Sun-Earth Day Celebration.

All you goofy folks can go to Exploratorium Island on some thing called Second Life to catch the live video stream.

WWHD?

2008-07-24T22:37:00.005-05:00

I know what Jeez would have done. He would bitch slap you. But, Hitler? What the hell would he do? I mean besides growing that fugly 'stach.

According to Ben Stein's opinion of Obama in the Metrodome, "Seventy-five-thousand people at an outdoor sports palace, well, that's something the Fuhrer would have done."

Well, first of all, the Metrodome is not a god damned palace. It is damned, but it ain't no palace. Secondly, can't we go with something better than Hitler? I mean, that has to be a joke, right? It is for every other adult with an internet connection. Isn't it?

Stein, " It's like Juan Peron." OK, that's better.

To quote the scarily cool Nancy Botwin, "What the F?"

How stupid are we? Why do these people still get to spew this nonsense to the public? OK, you don't like the guy. I can see that. Nobody is perfect. McCain has issues. We know the "Mc" in a surname means "son of" and Cain was the first murder, so.....

But is a speech in the M'Dome really as "scarily authoritarian" as anything else that's been going on lately?

I would rather hear Stein prattle on about Intelligent Design. I think Hitler would like that too.

Damn. Did I just lose my own fucking post?

Oh, well. Remember when Strom had that record long filibuster back in '57? Do you think he knew he would be in office until he was 100 years of age? That's the kind of thing that lets you know things are running smoothly.

Does a Bear Shit in a Mine?

2008-07-24T13:20:00.003-05:00

In yet another example of violent video games' impact on bears, a mob of 30 bears in Moscow have killed and eaten two men at a platinum mining company in Kamchatka.

After ganking the two men (security guards for the mining company), the bears camped the location. Nearly 400 workers are refusing to go back to work until someone clears the area of these ursine bullies.

We Do It Because We Care

2008-07-24T10:24:00.004-05:00

If I had any amount of music purchased from these jokers, I would be peeved. This is the kind of thing that makes people seek out "less restrictive" sources of digital music. While the service that sent me this email may have been easy to access, shiny and bubbly, it wasn't really meant to make your life easier. It is a revenue generating machine with no concern for you or your music.

To you sirs, I say, shove that valid license key up your ass.

Steaming My Buns

2008-07-23T14:12:00.002-05:00

I finally had time to pull my head up out of the gin barrel and steam some buns. These things are great and I've been meaning to do an at-home batch for a bit, but they take a some time with the dough prep and such. I managed to get home yesterday at a reasonable enough hour to give it a go. Frankly, I had it in my mind to do it either way, but that is the way of the world.

I used the bones of a recipe from Chowtimes.com for the dough. I cut the recipe in half and used the basic recipe, though with water, coconut milk, and butter in leiu of milk and margarine and ditched the egg entirely. Simple stuff. Mix it up, then knead into a smooth ball and let it sit, covered.

Meanwhile, I mushed up some ground pork, red cabbage, and spring onion with sesame oil, soy, pepper, salt, a pinch of sugar, curry powder and a touch of smoky bbq sauce and let that stew in it's own uncooked juices while waiting for the dough.

When the dough ball was ready to go, I followed the Chowtimes plan and rolled it out into a longish log, then cut the log into pieces. I got about 9 out of it, if I recall correctly. These small pieces are then rolled into rounds, thicker in the middle. I dropped some filling in the middle of each and pinched them up....or stuffed 'em, or zipped 'em shut...something. I'm not sure what happened. It was inelegant and the buns were not uniform in size or shape. Who cares? I was starting to faint from hunger and knew it was going to be a while yet. Plus, the dog was looking at me sternly and threatening to piss the floor.

I moistened those buns and dabbed them in some sesame seed, then put those bad girls in the steamer on a tiny scrap of parchment paper. They took another 30 minutes to rise while the dog and I lounged outside.

After steaming, I can say those buns were really tasty. I will do this again. Probably try the half steam, half fry version to get a crispy outside. I also want to do the soup buns. Primarily so I can say "aspic" repeatedly. Say it with me...assssspiK.

Don't judge my lumpy looking buns, they are soft, warm and tasty. You like big buns and you cannot lie. And I know you wan't some of that hot sauce on one of my buns.

Berries

2008-07-17T14:09:00.002-05:00

The Birds - Duck!

2008-07-13T19:17:00.003-05:00

I admit, it's not as frightening as the movie. However, my neighborhood birds have made a concerted effort to breach the outer defenses of my home this weekend. I think window technology has outpaced their aerial offensives. So far this weekend.....Birds - 0, Gabe's Double Pane's 5.

Though there have been quite a few survivors, I can only warn them about drunk flying so many times.

Anyway, my real point was that the usual culprits took a back seat today to a male Common Yellow-Shafted Flicker. An ant-eating woodpecker, this flicker is fairly large (especially for crashing into windows) and strikingly attractive.

Maybe he's just napping.

Deeper Down the Hole

2008-07-11T10:43:00.003-05:00

OK, I'm a little off the deep end here, but I just don't see why the Trib is driving people to the competitor's site with their own daily email updates. Besides that, this email will start trending toward lazy blogger status (myself included). Just link a bit from somewhere else, write a sentence or two and pat yourself on the back.

I know they barely do anything beyond dressing up an AP item (if that), but is this really the best they have to offer? A Trib reporter couldn't get in touch with the web-site owner for Obama's Chocolate Nuts? If they start linking to ESPN.com for Cubs news, I'll know the jig is up for sure.

You Lazy Sons of Bitches

2008-07-10T10:39:00.003-05:00

There are two main newspapers in Chicago, the Chicago Tribune and the Chicago Sun Times. I don't count the the Red Eye, the Trib's children's version of news that is marketing to the kiddies in their 20s that haven't made the step up to real news yet. I shouldn't even count the Sun Times, whose main selling point is that it opens like a book and is therefore easier to read in transit - you know, for those ham-handed fuckwits that can't handle the Trib's traditional fold style while on the El. Those few that aren't actually listening to there Pods, shouting at their phone or pounding thumbs on their all-too-important emails.

I suppose you can guess that I prefer the Tribune. It's not solely due to their ownership of the Cubs, I just think they do a better job....or do they?

In my DayWatch daily email from the Trib, I was helpfully directed to the Sun Times. Are you fucking kidding me?

Here, the Trib gremlins helpfully start my day off with more discussion of Rev Jackson wanting to cut off a presidential candidate's balls for being too all inclusive and not wanting to damage his chances of election (and negate his overall message) by pandering to a limited section of the US voting populace.

But here.....here is where it all goes awry. To see The Mayor doing a Sox commercial or find out what local assclown, Mike North, is up to....I should link myself over to the Sun Times?

Not only that, but apparently The Onion stories are major news. It's small wonder these folks are still making a living at this.

Red Ass Pickles

2008-07-09T15:04:00.002-05:00

Pickles and Kool-Aid. Lord knows what that freaky Kool-Aid Man would do with something like these, but I thought they were awesome and strange. It's tart and sweet. A good combination. Someone should make a candy like that.

The best thing about these is that they are stupidly easy to make. I let my dog make this first batch. She's no whiz in the kitchen, but she did a bang up job here. I don't even like pickles enough to have tried this (neither does the dog, thank god, or they never would have made it back into the jar), but I did it out of spite for all the odd food hating people out there who might gag thinking about it. Strangely, I really enjoyed these.

Alton Brown's recipe here, which is straight from the Mississippi Delta as part of his "Feasting on Asphalt" show.

Look at it's devilishly sweet redness:

So Long

2008-07-09T13:03:00.002-05:00

My favorite animal at the Lincoln Park Zoo passed away the week before the 4th of July.

Yiet Yang was the oldest of only 136 snow leopards living in accredited zoos in North America. At 19 years of age, this cool cat suffered from chronic renal failure and a worsening lameness in her rear legs. Yiet was having trouble standing (and even keeping any balance) and had declined to such a state that the zoo felt the most compassionate thing for the animal was to euthanize her.

Yiet had spent almost all of her 19 years at LPZ (beyond the 15-year average life span of a wild snow leopard), having come to Chicago within a year of her birth in San Francisco. Whether you like zoos or not, this animal was a spectacular cat to see and always maintained the cool, edgy attitude of a wild cat.

I don't ever feel truly comfortable with zoos, but when they are well run and the habitats are given due consideration, the attempt at preservation and understanding does have some merit. Sadly, there are a lot of geriatrics at the LPZ lion house, including the black leopard, Marta, who will soon turn 19 as well. I'll have to get out and see how she's doing. It'll also give me a chance to view the wild roaming herds of asinine people.

Vibram Five Fingers

2008-07-07T14:02:00.005-05:00

Sounds dirty don't it? Well, it's not.

The Vibram Five Fingers shoes are what is passing for my latest running related fun. Vibram calls it barefooting. The shoes are essentially a thin, stretchy fabric with a tough, rubber compound sole. My Flows have a neoprene lining and EVA footbed.

They have individual toe compartments and are akin to running barefoot. The individual toes allow the foot (and toes) to spread at impact, as is natural. Gone is the heel strike promoted by the usual running shoe, as the Five Fingers are meant to encourage mid-foot striking.

The folks at Vibram say it might take a bit to adjust, but I wasn't much of a heel striker anyway. This is the way my feet want to run. I trail run for the most part and the sole is plenty to avoid pain from any random pointy things on the ground. The lightness is a joy and I have significantly reduced my tally of ankle turns - something I am intimately familiar with due to the combination of running terrain and my running partner and which was not helped in the least by my shoes.

I'll admit that putting them on out of the box, my initial reaction was "what the fuck is wrong with my toes" as it didn't seem like they wanted anything to do with the seemingly natural configuration of the Fingers. However, that went away quickly and I find no issue pulling them on since that initial try.

These things are fooking cool. I have no idea to what degree (literally) these will suffice in the Chicago winter, but I'm going to find out (the Injinji toe socks should help a little).

Bite Me

2008-07-05T19:56:00.003-05:00

I am taking a moment to rant some more about language. I know I make words up, there's nothing wrong with that. Everyone should do it. Language is a living thing. Don't let anything be a roadblock to the constant reinvention of language.

That said.....mouthfeel? Are you fucking kidding me?

I know I'm biased since I first heard it uttered by some bottled water company spokesfucker. Nevertheless, could you come up with a word that has worse mouthfeel than mouthfeel? It sits like a turd on your tongue and it sounds like a burbling ass fissure.

Why wasn't texture good enough for you? Do you think you actually invented a new sense? Do you think it will convince me to buy your overpriced water? Tactile sensation sounds much cooler doesn't it?

Bad enough that shyster snake oil salesmen are using it to differentiate their water (usually bottled from your municipal supplies) from your tap, but now I see it in food blogs and forums. I gather it's been around a bit and I'm sure you freaky beer brewers have been using it for years in musty, dark corners, but if I hear a coworker spew this bit of verbiage at lunch, I'm going to fork him (or her) in the bum. Nothing ruins a thing like some pompous fuckwit trying to impress.

Living Lo Pan

2008-06-30T16:14:00.002-05:00

As David Lo Pan once said, "I must sacrifice you. But I love you and I need you." I'm sure we can all sympathize.

Living Lohan, on the other hand, is an entirely different matter.

These damn shows keep popping up. I don't know who the fuck thinks people care, but we, the viewing public, just keep watching anyway. We sit glassy-eyed and drunk, drooling on ourselves, remote at the ready like a gunslinger trying to relive the great old days. When the west was wild and the game still meant something. When the Real World was, for all intents, real and Ozzie was still picking feathers from his teeth.

Now we have every useless ass with an agent and a tenuous connection to fame getting a half hour a week to show us what wonders their lives are. I'll admit, some of these people are surprisingly worthwhile and some of the shows have had moments (if only briefly). Nevertheless, on the whole, the concept is wearing thin.

Somehow I found myself watching two guys named Corey, some girl named Denise and a trio of Lohans. The Lohans made me more edgy than any of it. Most likely due to having just watched the wreck that is Corey Haim trying to find something, anything, to grab onto.

I found myself wondering if the next young Lohan is going to make it through this early life without those same kind of scars. While the Lohan Matriarch seems to think she is navigating this all quite well (I'm not even going to dig into what happened to the first version), I am not so sure. What I saw was a 14-year-old, in Las Vegas, trying to cut an album with some casino owners, all the while being followed around by cameras whose purpose is to bare her "reality" to the public via this TV show. I saw crying and immaturity and a sincere desire to be a 14-year-old and not be stuck inside all day with a microphone.

I suppose it's not the worst thing to happen to a teen girl in this great America. I do wonder how 14-year-olds became such masters of their own domain though. If I got to do whatever the hell I wanted at that age, I wouldn't be the man I am today. But, perhaps I would be less angry.

Tune in next week as Denise Richards does nothing of interest, one of the Corey's goes off the deep end and Mrs Lohan continues to make dreams come true.

What a Croc

2008-06-20T21:33:00.002-05:00

Not exactly. An alligator. What the hell? This place is really starting to fall into the realm of the insane.

A 4.5 foot gator was found in the South Branch of the Chicago River (I know the article says 5, but the Fox News chick just told me it was only 4.5 and from the footage, I would guess that to be close to accurate).

I guess I'll need some heavy artillery next time I go kayaking. The snapping turtles are bruisers, but they're like 100 years old and move about as fast as the concrete-shod corpses in there.

And Another Thing!

2008-06-19T13:03:00.002-05:00

I forgot to mention that Todd Stroger cast a tiebreaking vote Tuesday on a scheme to have the city borrow $150 million as a bridge until the sales tax increase kicks in and saves the world.

The short term loan may cost as much as $9 million in fees and interest and should be paid back December 2009.

However, as Commissioner Larry Suffredin mentioned in the Trib article, the commissioners weren't told exactly what the fees or interest were going to be or what bond firm would be doing the deal.

How can you asswipes vote for something like this?

Stroge Me, Stroge Me

2008-06-18T14:43:00.002-05:00

Todd Stroger, man of the people, finally got around to facing taxpayers in the northwest 'burbs of Chicago. Stroger, the Cook County Board President, was set to explain his $426 million tax hike.

The Background: Stroger is the son of the late John Stroger, who served as the Cook County Board President for 12 years. Todd was appointed to Alderman of the 8th Ward by The Mayor to replace Lorraine Dixon, who died in office. When his father, John, suffered a stroke in March of 2006, it didn't impede his winning the Democratic nomination and despite not being seen in public since the serious stroke, we were all informed by Todd that his father was going to run for County Board President yet again. In June of 2006, John was removed from the ballot and replaced by his son, Todd, per the decision of the Cook County Democratic Central Committee. The backing of The Mayor ensured that there was no opposition to this move and Todd was eventually elected to office in November of that year.

Stroger went on to hire his cousin as CFO and give her a nice $17,000 pay raise and his 2008 budget contained the largest ever Cook County sales tax increase for the county (a 1% increase to 1.75%)

Back to the present: After ducking an April 30th town hall meeting, Stroger finally made an appearance. When confronted with concerned citizens, Stroger was unfazed. Hearing claims of distrust and disgust did nothing to sway him; nor did the talk of secession. In fact, Stroger went in front of these fine folks to say, "people don't trust politicians....and that's the way this job works." He further informed the people that some people will get "pinched" by a sales tax increase.

Perhaps Todd isn't concered that Chicago now has the highest sales tax (10.25%) of any major US city. In fact, Stroger was trying to create a cash reserve as a hedge against future tax hikes.

Now that's balls. He's doing it for the people!

You're running a government, asshole. You don't get to hold the peoples' money in reserve for when your shortsited bullshit, rampant mismanagement and greasy hiring practices result in yet another budget shortfall.

Someone has to get pinched all right.

Roll Out.....What you got in that

2008-06-08T20:07:00.004-05:00

Egg Roll.

You can start with anything. I went with ground pork and scallops. Tossed in super heated wok with a bit of oil and cooked it up quick. Set aside.

I then took chopped up baby portabellas, green onion, yellow peppers, and minced garlic and ginger, some salt and pepper (I know this doesn't seem very Asiany, but Whateva, I do what I want!) Flash that in the wok for a few minutes. This all takes very little time.

Threw it all back together with a little soy and oyster sauce, then added sprouts over top and covered so that the sprouts would steam. Done. Set the whole mess aside. You want to let it cool and get as much of the liquid drained as possible.

Taking the wraps, place a few tablespoons of filler in the middle and roll the bottom, then flap over the sides ("envelope style") and complete the roll. Use a little whisked egg to seal it up. The packaging on the pre-made wraps always have a handy little rolling diagram (WARNING: do not use this technique to roll other things).

Back to the wok, which now has some oil ready to go. Drop those little suckers in (or better yet, slide them in carefully and don't singe your arms like some people), watch them turn golden brown. Won't take long at all. If you aren't using a deep fryer, you can turn them carefully to ensure the bottom side doesn't burn.

I like to serve with plum sauce. You can do whatever the hell you want with them.

It's not ice cream, you heathen

2008-06-08T14:55:00.003-05:00

It gelato, dammit. Chocolate-Cinnamon Gelato with hunks of toffee bar up in that bizzatch.

It just means more milk, less cream. It still tastes good, don't freak out.

I used this Epicurious recipe. Pretty simple...whisk sugar, cornstarch, fresh ground cinnamon and salt in a saucepan. Add milk until dissolved. Boil, remove from heat and add in the chocolate until it is smooth and melted. Put that bowl over ice and add the small amount of cream and stir often for about a half hour. Then do your thing with some kind of ice cream maker contraption, adding the chunks of toffee at the very end. Freeze that shite.

Chicago Blues Festival 2008

2008-06-08T13:41:00.008-05:00

I took some time on Friday to get over to the Chicago Blues Festival. It's always an enjoyable experience. It's free to show up. The music is good. Though probably a tad on the costly side, there is still good food (I don't really need to hear from anyone that thinks otherwise, we are all aware that someone hates BBQ, someone else thinks it's too expensive, a third knucklehead hates festival food, fried food, having to buy tickets, whatever). Best of all, it is usually fairly crowd-free, especially before the weekend. Add in the rain on Friday and it's like a family 'q.

I walked over to the park around noon. It hadn't started raining yet, but some unusual foresight on my part resulted in me bringing my jacket. It would come in handy when the sky opened up just as I got to the festival grounds, centered at Columbus and Jackson behind the Art Institute.

Besides rain there was Little Willie Littlefield, the Joe B Band, and Afrissippi.

A few shots of the fountain.

The blues bus. Look at all the orbs! No way, that's not rain you haters.

The wind blew over a few trash bins. Gull bonus!

Nobody's home.

Food row.

Rising Star Fife and Drum featuring the Thomas Family.

Joe B Band playing at the Gibson stage.

Little Willie Littlefield at the US Cellular stage.

You can see Willie went without the shoe, which is now sitting on the piano in front of him.

Afrissippi at the Mississippi Juke Joint stage, sponsored by the state of Mississippi. They wailed.

A rockin' chess party out in front of the Art Institute.

A clip of Afrissippi in action. No bitching. I know it sucks. Taken with an Olympus 1030 SW. My thumb is a camera hog and it was f'n hard to hold that little damn camera steady in the rain.

There's a tear in my beer...

2008-06-06T14:37:00.002-05:00

What the hell happened to Ed McMahon? He done got broke and is gettin rousted, that what.

McMahon went on Larry King Live (hell, yeah! my favorite) to talk about his money woes. He is $644,000 in arrears on his $4.8 million home loan. Ed claims to have had the house on the market for 2 years and hasn't been able to move it.

You can read all about how the "perfect storm" brought Ed and family down. You know how it goes, the exes all want some, the manager is trying to take a cut for doing his job, bad money management by bad people, overspending and a tragic physical setback that keeps a man from working. The average story of a working stiff getting caught up and thrown down.

Of course, this stiff has been working fairly steady since 1957. You may recall such shows as The Tonight Show, TV Bloopers and Practical Jokes, and Star Search. There was also the $7.2 million settlement in 2003 for his insurance suit regarding a flood at his home (at the time the highest published settlement to an individual claiming property damage in a mold case). However, it seems the $7 million may not have been enough to cover expenses related to the suit and at the time, the McMahons had to move out of the $23,000/month rental to reduce expenses while they were fixing the flood and mold damaged home.

Anyway, if you can spare a dime, I'm sure Ed would appreciate it.

Lest you think this is unique and not the celebrity crisis it is, note this item in the WSJ about poor Evander Holyfield facing foreclosure on his $10 million home. Maybe he didn't hear them when they called the first few times. He should get after Mike Tyson about that ear of his.

Then there's Jose Canseco. His tell-all books didn't bring in enough to allow Jose to keep paying the mortgage on his modest 7300 square foot LA home.

Hopefully, the economic stimulus package will at least give them all a little breathing room.

I Still Can't Be Left Unsupervised

2008-05-24T16:31:00.004-05:00

What happens when you have to be at work and there is nobody else on your giant, high rise office floor?

You engage in death defying aerial stunts, that's what.

If anyone on the phone asks, that noise is the cleaning crew getting a head start on the weekend.

And if you're wondering, the gents at Radio Shack do not have much advice for novice pilots in the Office Workers Sky-Slalom Association. You're on your own, Captain.

Roger, Roger.

....and we're out the door. Duck!

So Sad

2008-05-24T16:26:00.001-05:00

Apparently, Charlie Brown works for Streets and San now.

Guess Who's Back...Back Again

2008-05-22T10:53:00.002-05:00

All-around funny man and Person of Interest, Drew Peterson!

Big Drew was arrested for felony unlawful use of a weapon. The Will County state's attorney's office claimed he, "knowingly possessed a rifle, namely a Colt model Sporter Lightweight, 223 Remington rifle . . . with a barrel less than 16 inches in length" - a violation of state law. Peterson's attorney claims that the weapon in question was registered as one of Drew's 2 service weapons allowed him as part of the SWAT team and that he had carried it for ten years. Peterson was still on the police force when his 11 guns, including the rifle, were seized.

Mind you, these guns have been in the possession of police since November 1, 2007. Presumably, the police are just busting his balls. However, this is the kind of thing the jovial Peterson seems to enjoy. He was seen joking with officers at his arrest and yelling "I love you" to the press.

In case you missed his other recent run about with the law. Peterson was pulled over for speeding in Naperville, IL while on the way to help a 22-year-old female friend at 2:30 am earlier this month. Helluva a guy, that Drew. Who can blame a young lass for falling into the web?

Get a look at Drew on Larry King or some of his earlier moments with Matt Lauer.

The footage of this guy is astounding. He lives in another world. A world where being a suspect in the demise of two wives is a good way to make friends, find a new young broad to hang out with, and to get some well deserved exposure for a budding stand-up comic routine. He's a one-man wrecking crew. Daddies, lock up your daughters tonight, Drew is back on the prowl...after posting the required ten percent of his $75,000 bond.

I've Got Amnesty On My Mind

2008-05-21T15:04:00.002-05:00

What do you do if you had a brain cramp and forgot to comply with Chicago's yearly registration requirement for your cache of weapons?

If you are an Alderman, you simple have the law changed to create an amnesty period during which you can reregister without penalty.

You may think the case of Alderman Dick Mell is another case of Chicago Politicians Gone Wild, but you would be sorely mistaken. In fact, Mell is doing this for all the people out there that might have forgotten or didn't know the requirements of the Chicago gun laws. Mell is nothing if not a man of the people.

After coming to grips with the horrifying thought that his appeal to the Department of Administrative Hearings would not win, Mell did the only thing he could do. And if you don't like it, you may find you are facing the serious end of a barrel, punk.

Professor Hathaway Would Be So Proud

2008-05-19T13:32:00.003-05:00

Boeing finally did ground tests of its Advanced Tactical Laser, a modified C130H.

The plane is supposed to be a prototype for a flying laser blaster that can
"destroy, damage or disable targets with little to no collateral damage,
supporting missions on the battlefield and in urban operations."

Politics in Action: The Year of Foie Gras

2008-05-15T09:41:00.004-05:00

Back in April of 2006, Chicago Alderman Joe Moore managed to get the rest of his cronies to vote on a ban of foie gras in Chicago. The measure was passed by a 48-1 vote. A pretty lopsided victory for anything being voted on by these fellows.

Yesterday, those same gents reversed their stance, making foie gras legal once again. Of course, this upset a number of people. PETA for instance. I'm not going to get into the ethical debate here. You can see the anti-foie gras sentiment or arguments on the other side of cruelty, such as this clip of Bourdain all over the place. There's even a Spainish company (Pateria de Sousa) producing "free range foie gras" that eliminates the force feeding aspect by using the natural inclination of geese to be greedy eaters. This certainly won't satisfy the hardcore anti-cruelty element, as ultimately the bird gets the axe.

I really don't care to argue these points with anyone, even to the level of overall eating habits and the need for sustainability and efficiency. Really, I bring this up as an exercise in political analysis.

I'll start out by pointing out that the ban was not effective. People could still buy foie gras, restaurants outside the city limits still served it openly and restaurants within the city limits worked angles to get it on diner's plates or flat out flaunted the law and paid the resulting fines.

The reversal of Chicago's foie gras ban came due to some deft paperwork maneuvering by Alderman Thomas Tunney, who just happens to be a restaurant owner. Now, this seems a bit sketchy and propenents of the ban were hopping man, but Tunney used his knowledge of the system to force a vote. There shouldn't be anything devilishly wrong in that. The problem for organizations like PETA is that the Chicago ban was used as a shining example of "moving in the right direction". From a purely strategic view, this would be a blow to their efforts in more ways than just the situation in Chicago.

Moore was not allowed much in the way of debate by our Great Leader the Grand Poobah, Richard M. Daley. This was taken by Moore to be a political muscle job harkening back to the "glory" days of The Mayor's father. While this may be so, I can't help but agree with the point that this issue has been debated ad nauseam locally and nationally. Not to mention that the original vote was just two years ago. How much more is going to be accomplished by more tongue wagging.

Now, I never really got behind the ban in the first place, and it didn't seem to matter anyway (one of The Mayor's points). Nonetheless, the Chicago Tribune reported, "many aldermen who voted for repeal said they changed their minds because they agree with Daley's assertion that they have better things to do." This chapped me a bit.

The concept that they had better things to do than deal with this the first time somehow leaves me wondering how that equates to forcing another vote on it. A vote with drastically different results than one year ago. The reversal was passed with a 37-6 vote.

I know these people are addle-brained, that's not at issue. The real question is which mental misfire caused this great shift in attitude. Did they suddenly realize they voted previously without the facts? Did they hear whispering in the hallways of goverment? Is The Poobah really trying to make a heavy point about opposing his plans for the proposed Chicago Children's Museum? Did the gang of shitting geese on the local golf course finally cross the line and steal beer from someone's cart? Whatever the reason, nothing in this episode increases my opinion of the players or the political landscape of my fair city.

Only those privy to the smoky back rooms of Chicago's politicians, lobbyists and restaurateurs know for sure. I suppose they aren't smoky any more, but who knows what parliamentary magic may change that.

AVPR

2008-05-14T18:15:00.002-05:00

I've got some things to do and I need some background so I ran down the list of movies on the dish. Nothing jumped out at me, but Aliens vs Predator: (Uncut) starts soon, so I popped over to IMDB to see the plot synopsis since I couldn't recall what the hell the story was.

Yeah, I know, who the fuck looks at the plot synopsis for a movie like this? I do. It is pretty much would you might have guessed. Aliens versus a Predator, with some people thrown in for collateral damage. In Colorado.

All of the reviews are screaming at me to run away and forget I ever heard of this movie before I suffer the full brunt of awfulness that will blast through my TV. Naturally, that elevated me from "not sure" to "well, god damn, I have to see it now".

If you don't hear from me. Assume the worst.

Oh god, It Burns!!!!!

2008-05-12T21:17:00.002-05:00

I have had an unfortunate confluence of events involving deveining hot peppers and itching.

I want my mommy.

He's No Captain, But He Sure is a Space Cadet

2008-05-12T13:52:00.004-05:00

If you noticed at all, recently Representative Mark Kirk (IL-R) was spouting off about virtual worlds, children and the upcoming death of civilization as we know it. Unfortunately, Mr. Kirk is severely lacking any foundation in reality for which to launch his attack on all things virtual and the mega-threat posed to our young Americans.

After his rant about Second Life, The Lab replied in typical fashion. I think they probably just use the same boilerplate for all similar empty-headed do-gooders.

Now, Kirk has appeared on NBC Chicago to further assure anyone in the know, that he is...well...not. If you are similarly in the dark as to what all this dangerous stuff is, I suggest you go find out for yourself rather than taking my word or the word of "informed" people like Mark Kirk. Besides, learning is fundamental.

One thing I can assure you, THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH GETTING PUBLICITY FOR THE UPCOMING NOV 4, 2008 ELECTIONS.

For those of you that want to give Kirk a piece of your mind, just drop him an email and let him know what you think.

More Expelled Stuff

2008-05-01T13:10:00.002-05:00

Scientific American put up an article poking about some of the issues with the movie Expelled.

I don't really care to comment on the movie too much. There's plenty of that going around.

I do want to mention that any article touching on the movie will have a joyous and fertile comment section. I keep reading these comments because I know one of these days The Truth will be revealed.

If anyone adds comments to this post, I will edit them to make them more interesting. I can only hope to live up to any of the glorious Expelled comments.

Eta Aquarids

2008-04-29T10:14:00.002-05:00

Look for the next big meteor show on the morning of Monday, May 5.

The Eta Aquarid meteors are debris left behind by Halley's Comet and are active from mid-April until the end of May. Best viewing opportunity will be before dawn this coming Monday. The new moon will create good, dark sky conditions. Astronomers also think this year's shower will produce twice the normal activity, which has its radiant near the star Eta in the constellation Aquarius.

Typically, the Etas rate about 30 meteors per hour and is obscured as the radiant doesn't come overhead before dawn. The theory is that the shower's activity rises and falls based on interaction from Jupiter, which orbits the sun in about 12-years and creates a 12-year cycle for the Etas.

Optimal viewing for the shower is in the Southern Hemisphere and declines as you go north. However, due to the expectation of greater-than-normal activity and the bonus of no moon interference, even Northern viewers should be able to see a good show. EA meteors follow long paths, leave trails and average a magnitude of 3. Streaks should be easily visible. Early morning (also possible on May 4th and 6th, but with less meteor frequency), look to the southeast and, for those in the Northern Hemisphere, close to the horizon. You can orient yourself with this great tool.

You can hear Astronomy magazine Senior Editor Francis Reddy discuss the background of this shower in this podcast.

In other Astronomy news, researchers looking at the past have discovered nine young and very compact galaxies. These galazies are a fraction of the size of today's mature galaxies, but contain as many stars.

Next stop...immortality

2008-04-25T09:42:00.003-05:00

Sort of.

Back on the topic of the cougar that wandered into the mean streats of Chicago and faced off against Chicago's finest, which I mentioned here.

It seems that the remains are now in the hands of Chicago's Field Museum of Natural History, who have the fifth largest collection of mammal specimens in the world.

The body has been skinned, measurements taken, and biological study done by the Cook County Animal and Rabies Control agency and the Brookfield Zoo. Now the skeleton gets the flesh-eating beetle treatment, then frozen, labeled and stored.

It seems an unfitting end to such a magnificent animal. On the other hand, the process will let its death mean something far more than a blip on the News of the Weird. The remains will be available for scientists and researchers well into the future who seek to understand these animals and their habitat.

Just remember....as an occupant of both above and below, this long-tailed wildcat's spirit has moved on, but he left behind his message to balance power and intent.

Sichuan Hotpot

2008-04-23T22:20:00.008-05:00

Hotpot, the Asian kin to fondue. The Sichuan hotpot is, as you might expect, spicy. Did I mention that it's spicy? It is. Try to catch the Anthony Bourdain show, No Reservations, when he visits Chengdu for some hotpot. It's entertaining to see the bubbling cauldron and the diners continuously wiping sweat from their domes. If seeing that doesn't make you hungry, I don't know what will. Take a gander at these youtubers digging the roiling miasma of the hotpot.

At the core of this concept is the szechuan peppercorn. Once banned in the US (1968-2005) due to concerns that they could be carrying citrus canker, the szechuan peppercorn is a culinary gem. It isn't about the heat, the dried berry husk (not related to black pepper or chili pepper) has a lemony undertone and the stunning ability to numb the mouth. This tingly feeling is what sets the stage for the more spicy onslaught of the chilies.

I grabbed a recipe from iheartbacon.com that was itself derived primarily from the cookbook, Land of Plenty. It can be made in a hotpot, a slow cooker, a fondue pot or a pot over a burner.

The assembled ingredients:

a load of dried Tien Tsin chili peppers (I used about 20 because I was going for molten hot)
peanut oil
lard
chili bean paste
black bean garlic sauce
fresh ginger (peeled and sliced into thin strips)
chicken stock
granulated sugar
rice wine (or dry sherry, which I used)
szechuan peppers
stuff to cook in the broth
dipping sauces

I started out by preparing the chili peppers. Cut and shook out the seeds. Then dropped in hot oil to crisp them. Takes just a minute, you'll smell the aroma when they are ready, but you have to watch that they don't burn. When done, put them aside.

For the broth, melt the lard slowly in a pot. Then turn up the heat and add chili paste for a minute or so, then black bean garlic sauce and ginger and stir fry until you get a good aroma (again, not long). Now add the chicken stock. When that boils, add the sugar and rice wine. At this point, I refrigerated the broth for use that night.

When it's go time, reheat the broth (don't be scared of the skin on the refrigerated broth), adding the chilies that were prepared earlier and the peppercorns. Simmer for half an hour.

While waiting, get your dippers ready. Thinly sliced meats, veggies (cabbage, mushroom, etc), noodles (udon, rice) and some dipping sauces. I used a hot chili sauce (hey, I'm scorching this from start to finish), peanut sauce and a soy-mustard sauce.

The platter of various thin-sliced meats.

Shitake mushrooms, various noodles, and very firm tofu.

Triumvirate of sauces.

Sriracha Chili Sauce, don't leave home without it.

The szechuan peppercorns from The Spice House on North Wells.

A view of the liquid gold.

Worked to perfection. The best part is saving a bit of room to ladle some broth in a bowl, add some noodles and savor a nice, spicy soup to finish with. The noodles really take the flavor well. Pretty easy setup and a damn good time. I can still feel the tingle.

Encroachment

2008-04-15T09:40:00.003-05:00

After the authorities waved away claims of a large, wild cat roaming the greater Chicagoland area, the CPD was forced to deal with exactly that yesterday.

Police shot and killed a cougar on Chicago's Roscoe Village neighborhood.

I can't say that I'm pleased that this animal was gunned down like John Dillinger. However, I don't expect the police to be equiped to deal with this in any other way. Given the high population density of the area, safety concerns are paramount in dealing with a cat that is in excess of 5 feet in length and weighing in at 150 pounds.

I just wish they could have gotten their act together before it came to this.

Two of My Favorite Loons in one Package

2008-04-11T09:22:00.003-05:00

Tonight on Larry King Live, you are liable to see some ridiculously entertaining stuff. I know this sounds dubious, but bear with me.

If you don't know, Larry King is a crotchety old TV personality with his own show. In theory, King interviews various famous people. In reality, he does no such thing. Mr. King is a train wreck. This website recaps some awesome moments. CNN has the show transcripts, which are really great reading. I dissected one in this post. Larry, you see, doesn't prepare questions for interviews, has never used the internet and doesn't listen to his guests, preferring to bounce around at random with unrelated and typically ill-conceived questions. He is a broadcasting genius.

Now, let's add to the mix a lovable ex-cop and father, Drew Peterson. Mr. Peterson, a 54-year-old (now former) police officer in Bolingbrook, IL, is a suspect in the October 2007 disappearance of his fourth wife, 23-year-old Stacy Peterson. This eventually prompted the reinvestigation of the accidental drowning of his third wife, Kathleen Savio, who was found dead in a dry bathtub in March 2004. From the Tribune "Dr. Larry W. Blum is the forensic pathologist who performed the Nov. 13 autopsy. In his report, he determined that 'compelling evidence exists to support the conclusions that the cause of death . . . was drowning and further, that the manner of death was homicide.'"

If you have a minute, you really need to look through this nice aggregate of stories from the Chicago Tribune. It's spectacular. Just reading the various headlines will leave you positive this is a plot from a CSI episode.

So, Peterson and his attorney will appear on Larry King Live tonight (CNN) and allegedly will answer viewer questions.

"Joel Brodsky, Peterson's attorney, said he's not worried about the types of calls his client will have to face."There's no rules. Larry King's people tell me that they screen out the nuts. Which is fine," he said."

The potential for awesome here is unbounded. I hope it turns out as swell as Peterson's appearance on Chicago radio legend Steve Dahl's morning show, which ended in Peterson agreeing to do a Win a Date with Drew contest (which never happened, of course). The Matt Lauer interviews were also quite wonderful as Peterson explains that his wife ran off with "a 'nudder man" and that he isn't going to look for someone that isn't missing. He explains to us that he is a jokester and that this is all very hard on him, what with the media bothering him. You may also find out that Drew and Stacy's children believe their mum went on vacation.

No I'm not making this stuff up. We can only wait with baited breath to see what manifests on CNN tonight.

More Water Wars

2008-04-10T12:52:00.002-05:00

No, I'm not talking about the fucking non-stop parade of crappy weather that is getting me sopping wet and giving me a headache.

I'm talking about more of your precious resources getting sold back to you.

The fine entrepreneurs at Nestle have gotten permission to take spring water from the Madison Blue Spring in Madison Blue Spring State Park (that's in Florida, go look it up). The previous owner of the land had been granted a permit to bottle in 1998, which was never used.

Now, of course there was some political wrangling, some promises of economic benefits and a little bit of hand wringing from greener parties. You can read it yourself. I'll just say it is the same story that has been told in most of these situations. Nestle made a solid, economically sound proposal and short-sighted (for some good and some bad reasons) bureaucrats pushed the deal through. Now, all the promises are water under the bridge and Nestle has excuses for not measuring up to the originally stated goals.

That's typical. Not truly evil, as the company is a fluid organism and it should be expected that times change. However, the bottling of your own water has to concern you regardless of whether Nestle fell 100 jobs short of their promise of 300 or if the corporation is getting tax refunds from the state. Not to mention the spring is in the middle of a serious drought.

Nestle likes to point out that since nobody there is being charged for water (other than, of course, the cost of property ownership), they shouldn't be singled out. Once again, pretty good logic. Where's my wallet, I just might get me a case of that snake oil.

Anyway, what I'm saying is, love they neighbor (but not his wife!) and drink some fucking tap water.

What Up?

2008-04-08T14:42:00.006-05:00

This evening, the waxing crescent moon will show very nicely next to the Pleiades for northeastern US and eastern Canada (passes 1 degree north).

The moon will not be overbright and will allow close clusters to be seen, in this case the Pleiades, a naked-eye star cluster. Starting around 9.45 pm, the earthshine of the crescent moon will occult some of the northern Pleiades. Eastern Ontario is the best location for viewing, but other locations will still see the cluster and the crescent close together.

Check out more here.

More Laws Will Save Us

2008-04-03T10:30:00.002-05:00

Each new asinine thing that is dreamed up pushes me a little closer. Just like Grandmaster Flash, I'm tryin' not to lose my head.

Say what?

The latest foray into the absurd is courtesy of Illinois lawmakers, who have decided that it should be illegal to talk on a cell phone and walk across the street at the same time.

It's a safety factor, you see. People are getting hurt! How can we stop this? Legislate.

I've also seen bike riders get hurt. Perhaps we can eliminate bikes.

The government must have the ability to save the people. It must.

God forbid these fuckwits spend more time thinking about how to better the Chicago Public Schools and getting the state budget done on time. Possibly, they could stop engaging in the kind of activity that gets the IL Governor linked to the likes of Antoin Rezko. I know we aren't going to spend much time on a long standing history of political patronage, especially not the more recent variety.

Those sorts of things are overblown. The populace is too stupid to see how innocent it all really is. They are, in fact, so stupid that we need to protect them from themselves...and their phones.

Ghetto Frosty

2008-03-29T21:04:00.003-05:00

He gonna git you! Don't turn you back on him, kids.

Rockin Candy

2008-03-29T20:56:00.003-05:00

Look at it! It's something that only the most insane people can dream up. It's chocolaty and sparkly in your mouth. Like a creamy Fourth of July.

But, for god's sake, please don't eat it with Coca-Cola. We all know of the horrific ending for that kid back in '76.

Poaching

2008-03-29T20:42:00.004-05:00

I've been experimenting with poaching fish lo this past week or so. Basically, you are just cooking the fish in liquid. Take some wine or whatnot, put it in a pan, toss in some fresh herbs, garlic, pepper corns and that sort of thing, let it reach boiling and simmer it for 20 minutes or so. You want to really infuse that liquid.

Then you place the fish in there and let it simmer until done. It doesn't take very long. You don't want the simmer to be very robust or the agitation will break up the fish.

I did a creole sort by patting the fish with a typical cajun type spice rub. The liquid began with garlic and shallot in a pan with some butter, then adding a nice sweet white wine (in this manner, you don't need to infuse like you would if you had used a fresh herb concoction). After the fish was done, the liquid was strained and cooked down, then dribble over top. I threw a nice grape tomato and cilantro mix over top for the hell of it.

Spread 'Em!

2008-03-29T20:15:00.003-05:00

Settle down pervert. This is all about the chickpeas.

I went and made hummus. It was easy as anything ever can be. It was so good that I may never buy hummus from a store again.

The ingredients are few: tahini (more on that later), chickpeas, olive oil, lemon juice, garlic cloves, salt, pepper, some fresh herb (like parsley, basil, mint...I used cilantro because I always have it laying about), and whatever else you may want to add (pepper, pepper flakes, olives, roasted pepper...I used tangy spicy banana peppers).

First order of business is the tahini. This is simple. It's just toasted sesame and oil. You can find toasted sesame or just pop them in the oven for a bit. Mind them, tossing them up often, and don't let them brown. Take those sesame seeds and pop them in the food processor and add oil (olive, vegetable or even peanut) until you get a nice thick paste. Not too thick. You want it more of a pourable consistency, as opposed to thick peanut butter style that sticks like glue. This stuff, when you get it right, is really tasty. It'll keep for a few months in the fridge and you could use it on some toast or a bagel or something. I had other things in mind.

In the processor, take that tahini (about 1/3 cup for me) and add a can of chickpeas, 1/4 cup lemon juice, couple of garlic cloves (pop them in the micro for a few seconds to warm and soften them first) and let 'er rip. After it is coarsely blended, add the salt, pepper and whatever else to taste and another tablespoon or so of oil if you think it needs it (I added not quite that much) and blend to a consistency you like. This will keep for a couple of weeks.

The freshness of it was unmistakable and it had great flavor. The toasted flavor of the tahini is a nice, sweet undertone while the bite of the lemon finishes at the end. My version with the peppers had just enough heat to make me comfortable. Next up, I'll have to make my own pitas.

I highly recommend giving a try if you like hummus. If not, I think you should go get a quarter pounder with cheese and a sixer.

Gone Dark

2008-03-29T02:48:00.003-05:00

Non Coverage

2008-03-22T19:44:00.003-05:00

CBS, you really are a bunch of tools.

Let me tell you something. I don't really care what your analysts have to say. I don't need to be watching them fiddle with each other at a desk while games are actually going on.

Fortunately, I can turn to the DirecTV Mega March Madness Mix Channel to see what is happening. Unfortunately, I couldn't turn to the actual game because it was blacked out in my area. Instead, I had to watch the Mix Channel, which had the end of a game you went away from, presumably due to a lack of competitive basketball being displayed, and the game you didn't switch to (that was blocked on the DirecTV package).

I'm not exactly sure why networks behave in such a way. It makes little sense. I know your TV personalities want to feel needed, but the viewers just want to watch basketball. As much basketball as possible. The fact that there is live game action that isn't being shown is rather upsetting. Instead, we get to watch people rehash what we've already seen and stumble through analysis short on insight but long on buzzwords and hyperbole.

I hoist one to you. It must be nice to live in your world.

Lazy Picks

2008-03-20T10:24:00.004-05:00

I didn't watch any amount college basketball this year. It has become less and less interesting. I hope and I pray that somehow the dilution of both the NCAA hoops and the NBA from the massive influx into the NBA of raw talent with no physical presence, no basketball IQ and little desire for hard work. Now the college ranks are packed with 18-year-olds looking to get one year of play and some national exposure before jumping to a big payday in the NBA, regardless of if they ever prove to be worth that money or win any games of significance.

As a result, I have a hard time watching basketball at all and it is no different for this fiasco of a tournament. Despite what pundits say, this is not the most exciting event in sports, it's just one of the most heavily gambled on. Hence the reason I bother to pay attention at all. Normally I would do a bunch of work to think this out, but frankly it doesn't really matter that much anyway. For every upset you nail, some heralded team fizzles and leaves your predictions in shambles. It comes down to getting the last segments of the bracket correct. Just by virtue of waking up in the morning, I've heard more than I care to about the teams the should end up on top of the pile. Odds are heavily in favor of the top seeds....and for good reason.

I filled this sucker out in just a few minutes, with only a cursory thought toward the stats. I present this bracket almost unchanged from my first impression run through. The only adjustments I made were to put Vandy over Wisconsin, feeling my Big 10 bias was showing, and putting Texas in the final vs UCLA, because I just don't like UCLA.

With Cornbread and a SIde of Slaw

2008-03-19T23:37:00.004-05:00

Who knew I was so giving?

Free Water

2008-03-19T22:57:00.004-05:00

Really, I'm trying to play nice. However, the city wonks are really making it difficult.

In a move toward infrastructure improvement, the city has started some sort of street demolition project. Sure, it sounds glorious, but it wears thin rather quickly.

Firstly, the nice city people put up some handsome paper signs on a few trees. I promptly ignored them as I don't park on the street. This was a failure on my part. I awoke one morning and after putting on my face and packing up my drugs and money roll, I waltzed outside toward my garage. I was confronted with the sight of three gigantic trucks being filled with broken asphalt. Trucks that were nicely parked in a row, blocking my drive. I took this as a sign from god that I should not go to work. No blood, no foul.

I did take a moment to read one of those signs, though. It seems that they are claiming martial law on my street until April 30 (starting the beginning of March or thereabouts). WTF is that all about? I understand Union Time, but come on. Poking around in the days following, it seemed this was not just my street, but for blocks surrounding my house.

At first opportunity, I got my car out on the cross street to claim a spot in front of my house so I wouldn't get blocked in the next day. This opportunity came around 2:30 pm, which is apparently the new 5 pm. Mr. Slate never would have stood for hours like this.

So, nobody has anywhere to park and I can't use my own damn garage unless I get up at 5 am, but you can traverse the street after hours. Unfortunately, if you get home later in the evening, good luck finding a parking spot. I managed to park directly in front of my house, but covering the cross walk. This is a foul. I know this, but hell, give me a damn break. I got a ticket, of course. I accept that, but why did they have to post the time on the ticket as 2 hours later than when I walked outside and found it on my car? Did they anticipate my scofflaw attitude would only increase while I sat at my desk downtown? And why, people, did the officer have to litter the adhesive strip backing from the ticket on my front lawn? Isn't all the other crap from the demolition enough? What about the no parking fliers that are now flopping wet and lost in my backyard like unwanted paper-mache materials?

Now this. I walk out this week to find that the workers decided to water my lawn. Thanks fellas! It was at least nice to see them working. It seems they don't work every day anymore. Sometimes the equipment and junk sits idly for days. They are sure taking that April 30 date to heart.

Tax dollars at work. Glory be!

Smile!

2008-03-19T22:53:00.002-05:00

More Random Foundlings

2008-03-19T22:39:00.001-05:00

A city park after dark is a dangerous place!

I Think You're Wrong

2008-03-15T19:04:00.003-05:00

By the time you need to scrawl a note such as this, I think you've already lost the battle.

I Want To Party With You!

2008-03-15T18:59:00.003-05:00

A person can see all manner of tomfoolery while out in the world. All I can say regarding this scene is I hope nobody lost an eye.